Unearthing the Keys to Happiness, Purpose, and Creating Your Difference:

Have you ever noticed how the lessons you teach and write about, and that show up with your friends, beloveds, and clients, are the ones you most need to learn?

3:25 am: That old familiar rising panic comes back for a visit after a very long absence. This is it, I tell myself. It’s time to deal with this old dragon. What a gift that this demon has resurfaced now. I am prepared. I spent the weekend creating hypnotic inductions, visualizations, and energy tools to accompany the core chapters of my book Hot Confidence. I also devoted four days last week to mentoring clients on building self-trust, strengthening self-belief, and installing the positive qualities required for self-love.

It’s impossible to engage your fullest potential from a place of anxiety. If you’re taking the next step in your growth, you may find – just like I have – that fears show up. As I lie trembling in the darkness, the next thing I say to myself is, Let’s go girl – you’re stepping up! I am determined to dive into the process I designed specifically to clear this type of issue for others. I remind myself about the techniques I designed that worked so well for others all week. Can you relate to this?: Even when you know exactly what you should be doing, it can be challenging to gift yourself the benefits of practicing what you preach.

I choose to sink into the eye of the storm and explore the very first time I felt these shaky feelings. My journey takes me back to a time when I was six years old. My father, mother, younger sister, and I had taken a short holiday at a beautiful forested place by a lake called Inyanga. I’ve no idea whether the name has changed, as this was in the days when Zimbabwe was Rhodesia. One morning I’d woken in the early hours for no apparent reason. I had a sickening feeling in my gut. My six-year-old terror was accompanied by a knowing that my life would break apart. And that is exactly what followed.

A sudden death, around the time I woke up, cut our family vacation short. The sequence of events that followed led to one loss after another – my parents divorced and we left my homeland, our dogs, my school, and my friends. There was no explanation given. No discussion.

Years of bewildered uncertainty, displacement, and isolation became the evidence for me to construct a (really unhelpful) belief that life is a cycle of create, become successful, and destroy or be destroyed. Can you imagine what the effect of holding such a belief might have?

The reason I am sharing this with you is to illustrate that the only way to shift the unconscious beliefs and patterns that shape our lives is to visit their origins and discover and instill in yourself the positive resources you need in your most difficult moments. For deep and lasting change it’s necessary to head right back to the source of that defining moment. There are a host of ways to do this that don’t require remembering specifics and rehashing the gory details. So breathe!

I lie here forty-one years after I first felt that isolation and give the six-year-old me all of the resources she needs to free herself of the fright that so influenced my life from then on. As understanding, open communication, validation, acceptance, confidence, and love pour into my past self, I soon feel the calming effects. The trembling and panic leave my adult body. I wake with a tenderness that I recognize as new neural pathways taking form. Fantastic! That’s perfect!

What’s the point of all this? There are three main points that spring to mind:

  • When you’re ready for it, positive transformation can happen fast.
  • It’s really important to visit the original defining moment, understand what was going on for your past self, and appreciate the wider context.
  • Recovering choice, possibilities, and peace for yourself through proven processes is possible – even in the dark of the night!

Quantum physics has shown that we attract more of the state we are in. Until we are seven years old, those states are informed by the emotional environments of our families, and we are particularly affected by the attitudes, behaviors, and choices of our parents and primary caregivers.

As adults, we recreate and attract situations that make us feel the way we felt in our early childhood. If you are repeatedly experiencing a set of feelings that you would like to grow away from, look to your childhood for their origins. If you want to engage your potential and create your difference in the world, unburden and liberate yourself to breathe freely, just like I did!

To your magnificence, happiness, and positive transformation

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